WOLVIE, STORM & THE EX-MEN.

NOW I KNOW why it's called that. And why Halle Berry and Hugh Jackman ended up topbilling the film. I may be an X-Men fan but I will not be patronizing some crappy movie that should be called "Wolverine, Storm and the Ex-Men: The Final Stand."

Before I even watched the movie, a friend of mine already told me that it wasn't good. Really? Maybe it's not THAT bad or maybe it's just another way to tackle the X-Men like the Claremontesque drama with a new director around, I told myself. Then I watched it. And couldn't take it anymore. If it wasn't for my high school buddies who I haven't been with for awhile, I would have cursed myself for wasting my time and money, of course.

So, here's the crap. In the X-Men comics, Jean "died" and was resurrected as the Pheonix, and so on, which became the "Dark Phoenix Saga," one of the BEST stories from Marvel and arguably the BEST from X-Men ever. It tackled personal relationships, judgements and ideals and most importantly how power corrupts. In X2, Jean died, and we(viewers) knew that the Phoenix would become a part of X3.

And it did. What's hard to swallow is how the movie just used that now-legendary X-Men story to dispose of most of the leads: first, Scott, then, the Professor, and Jean also who had nothing to do with the theme of the movie. Here's the thing that bothers me: did they really intend to dispose of these characters without any plausible plot to give Storm and Wolverine the limelight?

Why would I even think of this? Here's why: First, the poster. Seen it? Look at the billing. Second, there's been a lot of talk since X2 that Halle wouldn't want to reprise her role as Storm, because of her short exposure in the previous installments. Finally, I saw in an interview of Halle saying that she reprised her role in X3, because it was good material and she had a more juicy role.

So... here comes X-Men 3. Halle Berry's name is printed on the X-Men 3 poster alongside Hugh Jackman's as if it were some fantastic duo flick. If I'm not misjudging, I think Hugh's name was just printed there to make it seem normal to give Halle, an Academy Award winner, her own.

In the movie whose central theme on the mutant 'cure' was underdeveloped, Jean was apparently alive. She had some drama part then she and Scott kissed. Kapoof went Scott. As this happened, Storm was having some scenes showing off her ideals and was earning some compliments from the Professor. Jean then had some drama again then makes Charles Xavier go kapoof also! Finally, the lead X-Men were only Logan and Storm with Jean once again having dramatic poses in the enemy base. Storm becomes the mighty protagonist again with her choice of not closing the school and she even had some enlightening speech. Then, she and Logan goes into 'war' then wins ending with Logan killing Jean. I don't know if it can be more obvious than that. The movie was just meant to please Halle. I'm excluding Hugh because he always had a big part. What more could he ask for.

I hate that they used Jean Grey and the Phoenix just to make Storm the ultra-protagonist by killing off the others. IT COULDN'T BE MORE OBVIOUS! For an X-Men fan like me, seeing the Phoenix used as a vehicle for that kind of thing without proper characterization and plot couldn't be more infuriating. It also kills me that they killed all those characters for that crap.

Besides that, the movie was really scattered in parts. There was no real development going on. It was as if I was watching an extended telenovela. I hate it. I hate the directing job. I hate the story. I hate the movie. I can't believe they did that.

Sorry for ranting. I'm just sad.

NEVER-ENDING MUSIC.

Taylor won American Idol V. No exclamations, of course: I never liked him EXCEPT for his last performance on the Finale with Proud, which more or less won him the bid for that much-coveted title. Still, I just can't SEE him as an "American Idol" or a pop icon. In fact, from the first time I saw him, he reminded me of just two people: Jay Leno and Kenny Rogers. And he even sounds like the Kenny Rogers-type. (to me, that is) I can't even believe that he's gotten into the Top 4! Of course, I had my own Top 4 with Chris, Katharine, Mandissa and Paris. I thought that one of them would win, but I guess not. It's still not in me to be believe that that "Soul Patrol" won. His last song was the only good thing I've heard from him the whole season, and I hate that he's won just because of that.

Though he's won, if he will not have a good array of songs perfectly suited for him just like Proud, I really think he'll never make it to being a true music idol. The people will then realize that he was no Idol but just a reality TV fad star.

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Alongside visual arts, music is one of my most loved things. Music may be intangible but it's a force that has a lot of impacts in my life. When I feel really nervous, I sing, and I'll just have the right amount of jitter to keep me going. When I'm alone, I listen to MP3s or sing to reminisce all those almost-forgotten feelings in the past. The Thong Song reminds me of those friendships lost and retained as the years went by, even the energy of those days. Breathless reminds me of a friend's house and how I used to hang out there waiting for the driver to fetch me. I Wanna Know brings back old childish quarrels which were as if the hardest problems I had to face while 214 those carefree times during my last year in high school when I felt a strong urge for change.

Music, as a song, a melody or in any form, has the power to not only deliver what it was made to do. It can even record the past between its lines and notes, truly a magical thing we don't usually appreciate that much. Music is magic. It flows with the wind. It stops the world from moving. It touches our hearts in places we no longer visit on our own. It is, for me, a force of nature we don't usually notice. A wallpaper left unnoticed but by itself a witness to the lives we live. That's why I love music.

It's a magic that's available for everyone.

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Some of the songs that I really love:
-With a Smile by Eraserheads (not that crappy SB version)
-214 by Rivermaya (its instrumentals at the start REALLY hits me hard)
-Breathless by The Corrs
-One Sweet Day by Mariah
-When You Tell Me That You Love Me by Vonzell(of AI IV)
-My Immortal by Evanescence
-'Til They Take My Heart Away by Kyla
-Say My Name by Destiny's Child
-Break Away by Kelly Clarkson
-Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson
-Kailan by Ryan Cayabyab

Some of the songs I really hate:
-KLSP by Spongecola
-Can't Let You Go by Cueshe (gives me goosebumps)
-F.U. by Bamboo (just because it ruined my liking for the band)
-With a Smile sang by Southborder (SB sucks!)

Most loved artists:
-The Corrs
-Destiny's Child
-Eraserheads
-Rivermaya
-Mariah Carey
-Kelly Clarkson

ARE YOU AN INDIVIDUAL?

In a world where people mutually influence each other, what makes a person an individual? A person learns to do things by watching other people do them. The style of singing. The way of conversing. The color of preference. Even the way we tie our shoe laces, style our hair, or think. If a person is merely a hybrid of the characteristics of other people who acquired these same traits from other people, where does individuality come in?

If we speak of individuality, we usually think of uniqueness and originality. We sometimes think that in order to be an individual, we have to be different as a goth is to a geek. However, that's not what individuality actually is. If we merely try to be different, we can't call ourselves individuals, because this very decision to be different is due to what other people are. To be an individual, I believe, is to choose your own character and beliefs from the millions laid out before you based on your own judgment. It is not to be original or unique but to be standing where you want yourself to be. An individual does not compromise his beliefs nor his character to be part of anything such as an elite group or even a jologs group. He proves his worth not by conforming but by working well within the parameters of his taken stand.

Being an individual may sometimes take its toll, like being left out, cast out or what-not. But, at the end of the day, there's nothing more fulfilling than being able to look yourself on the mirror and see a you that you wanted to be not a you that others wanted you to be.

A HALF-TRUTH.

Years ago, I've been a really bad friend. Remember the famous proverb, that says "Make new friends, but keep the old; Those are silver, these are gold"? I was guilty of doing just the opposite of that. I was too caught up with a fledgling friendship that I considered to be heaven-sent thereby taking my old friends for granted. But I'm not saying that that friendship was not heaven-sent; of course, it was, just like all friendships are. What had been wrong was the act of disregarding my friends by doing seemingly "childish" stuff like not sharing secrets "meant for my heaven-sent friend only" and not spending enough bonding time with them which I preferred still to invest with my new friend. That seemingly heaven-sent friendship ended in just about a year, and it had a toll, a small-yet-very-existent gap that took a lot of work to overcome. Thankfully, everything went back to how it was. From that time forth, I learned my lesson "the hard way" as they say, and I wouldn't even try or think about doing that again.

Friendship is great. It enables us to survive in an undoubtedly harsh world. Thus, it is expected to be strong, overcoming all obstacles and trials between the two of you. Because if it is not so, what is there in friendship that will enable you to pursue what you want to do with an assurance that no matter what happens or does not happen a friend is still there to assist and stay with you? Without security, what is friendship? It is a useless half-truth waiting for completion and meaning.

DEAR GOD,

You knowe, I lerned a lot from Teacher today. She said that little children like me shoud be veri good so I wil be able to live with ya in Heaven. Teacher even koted Your book about children two olways obey their parents like brushing our teeth, eeting veggys, and praying befor sleeping. It's kinda kewl You rote that in Your thik book. I was thinking you wer always serius. No ofense, OK?

Teacher olso told us bout a few instracktions dat she even pasted on the woll. It sed sumthing like this:

1. Share yor blesings wid other poeple.
2. Do'nt fight wit other poeple.
3. Put evrything in theyr proper playce.
4. Don't still from other poeple.
5. Don't say bad wurds to othr poeple.

She sed that two be good boys and girls, we shud follow this. But, mommy and daddy so not do this. I knowe. There are times when I would see mommy give yaya and and the other yayas eeky food while we eat those yummy steaks. I also hear mommy shout bad words to manong our driver and also daddy when he talks on the fone with his eyes looking like that wolf in Little red Riding Houd. Mommy and daddy would also say bad things about yaya and manong in Chinise so they woudn't understand. Sometimes, daddy also says bad things to mommy, and mommy hits him on the face. Why do they do that? Are my mommy and daddy bad people?

Number 3 also says that things shoud be put back to theyr proper playce, like returning my toys or fixsing my big books on my shefl. But daddy always throws paper and Jollibee trash from our car to the road. Isn't that not obeying the rule? Isn't that bad? Of course, I asked dady this one time but he just told me, that's what MmDeeAs are for, we do'nt pay taxes for nothing. God, what are MmdeeAs and taxes and what do they have to do with this rules? There's also something weird with mommmy. There are times when mommy would take money from daddy's wallet and bag, and she would tell me not to tell daddy. Isn't that stealing?

God, I'm reely reely confewsd. Are older poeple like my parents bad poeple? Or, are older poeple gooder when their like bad children?

My head hurts reely hard when I think about it. I don't want them to go to Hell. Pleeeese reply OK?


Love,
XXX
annonimus(of course you know me. your God!)

P.S. Can I hav bring my potsim with me when I live ther wit You in Heaven?

ATENEO: PAGLIPAS NG (almost) ONE YEAR

Noong nasa high school pa ako, ayoko talaga sa Ateneo kasi yung mga kakilala ko na mga Atenista nakakaepal. Iyun bang mga maaangas. Eh ngayong nakapag-aral na 'ko ng halos isang taon na sa Ateneo ano ba ang bagong perspective ko on the university? (Kung meron man ahaha)

INITIAL THOUGHT: Ateneo is a conyo community.

EXPERIENCE: Actually, that's very true. Imagine, it's like everyone is talking like sosyaleras lalo na noong first day, like paangas again. Sometimes nga they talk with funny accents eh. You know, like Kris Aquino ba. But they're not so nakakainis naman eh, so it's okay. Parang cute nga eh when you're sanay na hearing them like that. Minsan nga I feel hawa na to them eh. Is that considered as BI or not? Hmm...

HAKA-HAKA: Mayayabang mga atenista.

KARANASAN: Hindi naman pala. Higit na nakararami pa nga ang mga mababait eh. Pero siyempre mayroon paring mga maaangas. Sa lahat naman ng lugar eh. PERO ang isa sa pinakamaangas palang tao na nakilala ko ay Atenista AT 'di lang siya Atenista, siya ang Dean ng JGSOM, meaning dean namin ahahaha. Naaalala ko noong freshman ORSEM (orientation seminar) aba sabi ba naman yung mga taga-LaSalle high school raw na mag-eenrol sa Ateneo "have seen the light." Grr... Kaepal diba? Ano kayang light ang pinagsasabi niyan. Parang ngang may humulagpos na bagyo sa akin eh. Muntikan na 'kong liparin.

INITIAL THOUGHT: Ateneans are 'sosyal' and snobby.

EXPERIENCE: i won't diprove this, but Ateneans IMO are actually very sociable and friendly people. They always have smiles to share with everyone. As always, there are exceptions, but they're just a minority. In fact, Ateneans IMO again has better characteristics than Graceans like they're very open-minded to all kinds of people so you won't really feel left out and they're actually simpler in a way that I can't explain ahehe. BUT of course, just as an ME alumni, a non-Gracean, told me that his Graceans batchmates and friends in Ateneo are the ones with the best character, there is always a factor of being just yourself and comfortable with Graceans (even the ones I'm not close to) just like some of the students of St. Jude ahahaha OR maybe I'm just being biased to the Chinese community bwahaha OR Graceans are just people who are easy to mesh with and bond with hehe

HAKA-HAKA: Maganda ang lugar/kapaligiran ng Ateneo.

KARANSAN: Hindi ko ata masasagot 'yan ng diretso. Sasabihin ko kung bakit. Ganito: Pag maaliwalas ang panahon 'pag mahangin at cloudy para bang nasa probinsya ka. Mapapansin mo talaga yung mga malalaking puno. Ang ganda... Fresh air... Mmm... Pag mainit naman ang araw, naku! Isusumpa mo na ang Ateneo, pano ba naman ang MAHAL ng tuition 'lang aircon? Parang sa Grace (O_O) pero mayroon naman ibang building na may aircon. Swertihan nalang. Kung sa tingin ninyo malala na ang mainit na panahon, diyan kayo nagkakamali. Kasi ang pinakamalala kapag umuulan parang may lahar sa totoo lang. Sa mga kalsada literally umaagos na yung tubig parang nagiging river na. Lalo pa sa Katipunan. Kaya 'pag umuulan kawawa ang mga paa ng mga Atenistang tinuringan pa namang 'sosyal' raw ahahha kasi hindi na namin alam yung mga dumadapo sa mga paa namin na mga dumi kasama ng 'river' gaya ng ihi ng daga, tae ng pusa't aso, etc. (lalo pa't kagubatan rin ang Ateneo, lahat na ata ng klase ng tae nandun na.)

But... the final verdict is yours:

Ang Atenista ay __________.
a)Mabait b)Maangas c)Kaepal d)Kaasar(in conyo accent)

Ang ________ sa Ateneo.
a)Kadiri b)Ganda c)Saya d)Weeeird

MABUTING PRESIDENTE SI ATE GLO. BOW.

Hay naku... matagal na ang panahong nagdaan mula noong huli akong nagpakita dito... hehehe

anyways... Weirdo talaga si Gloria. Super!

1. Paranoid na si Ate Glo
State of National Emergency?! Natatakot ba siyang mapalayas? Eh wala naman siyang ginagawang masama :)

2. Pulitiko na talaga si Liit
Napanood nyo ba yung interview niya kay Mike Enriquez na 'hinigup-higop' niya? bwahaha... may sinabi siya na kaya #1 ang GMA over ABS dahil sa kanilang patas na pamamahayag? ows? Baka naman naeepalan lang siya sa patutsada sa kanya? Eh ang tanong: bakit naman siya papatustsadahan kung wala siyang ginagawang masama diba? :) Ang kulit talaga ng media.

3. Best actress na talaga si Nora look-alike
Biruin nyo may pabisita-bisita pa siya sa Manila Bay noong State of Emergency. Palakad-lakad. Para bang walang problema. Everything is all right. Yun ang sabi niya. Hyukhyukhyuk. If I know, di na yan makatulog sa gabi. Ay baka hindi naman! Wala naman siyang ginagawang masama eh :)

Alam naman nating lahat na walang ginagawang masama si Gloria. Anong ba naman ang masama sa manloko ng mga Pilipino? ang paglaruan at kontrolin ang media? and pagdadamputin ang kanyang kalaban? ang sirain ang demokrasyang matagal ipinaglaban ng ating mga ninuno?

Wala diba? Eh bakit nagiging weirdo ata siya? 'Ba malay ko. :)

HELL WEEK.

I'm in the period called "hell week." Damn research paper, Lit midterms, Chem student-designed experiment and Chem Long Test! they're sucking the life out of me. Partly it's really stressful but it's not impossible to do with the right time management I try to follow :) I really thank God for helping me with my stuff last week which was another hell week- Math Long test, Math midterms and fil Long Test- and also for helping me (almost) finish my research paper during the weekend (2 shady days) even if I felt really really lazy.

But, the truth is, this hell week makes me feel a lot better in my college life. I guess it feels really better to do a lot of stuff rather than redundantly go to school wasting my time. Nyahaha...

Since I'm feeling really happy this week, wait for the 2nd installment of my correspondence report Life under the Blue Sky! COMING SOON ;P

CHRISTMASES OF THE YOUTH.

The first Noel the angel did say was to certain poor shepherd in fields as they lay...

A Yuletide song plays in the air as lights, green, yellow, and red, appear and fade in the cold night. Amidst colorful gifts waiting to be opened on the strike of Twelve, a pine tree stands proud boasting the ribbins, lit candles, and little angels adorning its bushy trunk. In the seemingly dark December night, merriment and laughter echo through, spreading a feeling of warmth and love all around.

Despite of the darkness of this Christmas, happiness reigns. An aura of mystique envelopes and separates the night from the world, making it dreamy perfect for a child.

But children grow and lose their youth, and Christmas is never the same exhilirating experience again.

That happened to me.

Year after year, Christmastimes have come and left, yet that mystical feeling never visited again. But, I can visit the experience in my mind. When I shut my eyes and reminisce, faded scenes come into my mind of those Christmastimes so long ago. Misty as they are, I can still feel the pristine joy and excitement I felt as a child. It just feels like a myth or a dream, but what is good about is that it really happened.

Despite the yearning for Christmases such as those, I am still thankful that in Christmastimes long ago, I felt the aura of mystique and merriment that separated those nights from the world and it was damn perfect for me.

GOT NOTHING TO SAY.

I can't seem to think of anything to say. Months have already gone by, but still I've nothing to say. No doubt, it's a bad thing. My speechlessness may mean that nothing really matters to me that much anymore. Not math. Not PE. Not anyone. I guess it's what we call emotional atrophy. I just don't care anymore. I don't get irritated that much anymore which is quite weird because since I last knew myself, I get irritated quite easily. What I do more right now is get bored, bored, and bored all over again.
I really don't know what's wrong. Maybe it's this damn place. The unsettling atmosphere. The incomprehensible people. Maybe it's because it's been a long time since I hung out with my friends. Maybe I just don't mesh with my life today. Am I really doing what I want to do? I don't freakin' know!
I wasn't really thinking about these stuff earlier. These are pure thoughts leaking away from me.
I don't really know what I need right now.
Maybe I do know.
I think I need a few breaths from my old world to get back on track. This life is just plain uninspiring, and now I'm running out of breath as if invisible walls are pressing on me.
*sigh*
Apparently, ranting does help, and now, I feel a bit better.

FRIENDSHIP: BY MY DEFINITION.

It is not uncommon these days to say that a person has a lot of friends, while what he really has is a lot of acquaintances. Take Friendster for an example, when you want someone to be your "friend," you just have to know either his whole name or his e-mail address to be his "friend." That is how time has trifled the value of a true friend. Knowing someone's name or/and his e-mail address barely scratches the surface or even gets near the true implications of a friend. Nowadays, friends have also been seen as just people we hang out with or go out with. Somehow, if it is comfortable or happy for us to be with someone, we may immediately conclude that this person is our friend.

That is what is frightening in our world today. Friendship is no longer treasured for what is really worth, causing innumerable pretensious and half-hearted "friendships" that fail to live up even to the shadow of true friendship.

Contrary to popular belief, friendship is not a relationship wherein two people share the same interests and believe in the same ideals and principles. True friendship is beyond that. It is being there for one another just like a husband is there for his wife, for friendship and marriage are binded by the same string which is love. Even the famous vow in weddings apply to friendship, friendship is beyond riches, capabilities and similarities. It is a bond shared by two individuals that can withstand any tempest that the world can offer. It is being there for each other no matter what. Of course, friendship cannot be perfect, and there would be times when friendship fails, but in the end, if it is true, even failure could not come between them, for they must also as friends consider that they are both human and are imperfect in many ways.

Frienship is also a process of falling, standing and fighting for that relationship, a cycle that also holds true to life.

LEFT BEHIND.

It happened several years back. It was a Saturday on the month of February. After a morning of pure nonsense in PE class and Saturday activity class, my friends and I were to go to another friend's house in Congressional for her birthday. I wasn't allowed to go, so they already left. However, the tides turned. My uncle suddenly changed his mind and allowed me to go. But it was too late. I called the birthday girl, and she didn't want to go back to school where I was, although it was just less than five minutes away from me. So I was left alone at 12:30 PM with my driver to fetch me in the late afternoon. Nowhere to go. It was silent and sad in that world where I was alone. No one to talk to.

So I jogged and jogged... jogged and jogged... The body pressured... The mind blank... Until it was time to go. Four and a half hours of feeling left behind was finally up.

That was so long ago.

This was just a few days before today.

It happened on a Thursday in my current prison, Ateneo. 1 PM. I met with some of my high school friends and chatted all the while. An idea came to my mind. Why don't I cut PE? Since I hate it so much. Then, I told a friend about it and asked her if I can hitch with her home since she lives near me. She said yes. 1:30 PM. It was Filipino class. I was so excited to just hang out and go home early. 3 PM. My school day was done. I decided to hang out in the computer lab then went directly to the library after. After my short escapade, I decided to wait for her in our meeting place. But wait. Something was wrong. My stuff were a bit too light. My pouch was gone. I walked back and forth from the computer lab to the library for probably five times. Still, it was nowhere to be found. 4:30 PM. I was rushing to meet my friend in front of her locker. I was anxious to be late, my mind searching for a consolation for my lost pouch. The consolation was that I would get home by car, which has seldom happened since the start of college, and I can also get to release my frustration to my friend. However, tick tock. tick tock. She was also nowhere to be found. I texted her two times and called her more than 15 times. Still, no answer. My once happy day turned into a freaking stressful day. That sudden dip from my unabashed happiness was grueling. On my last call, my friend answered. She forgot about me hitching a ride, and she was already on the road, probably far already since it was already about 5:15 PM. I told her it was okay. Yes, it was okay. I was sure she didn't mean to do it. But I wasn't okay. Why the hell do these things have to happen on the same day? I had no answer for my own question, so I decided to sit alone in the zen garden of the school. I was alone again in my world, for I was left behind.

NEWSFLASH.

Here are my advisory grades:

Eng11: B (hmm... It's pretty weird why I got a higher grade in Lit than this. Medyo "thrifty" :)
Lit13: B+ (Mr. Elmo is so generous)
ES10: C+ (Sad... I MUST PARTICIPATE IN CLASS!)
ES12: B (No comment)
Ma18a/b: C (It's ok. With the midterms, I'm C+. I hope I get a B final grade. hihihi... pangarap)
Fil11: B+ (Yay!)

Overall, it's not bad nor is it good. Kailangan pa magbengga! *sigh*

SHARDS.

Darkness. That abysmal part in a pool of pure white moving from end to end. It is said to be the window to the soul. But now, it is a door, flooded with grief, the cries of bitterness and sorrow represented by each escaping tear.

These little lifeless things assigned by nature itself to express man's extreme emotions. They escape man heeding to go back to where it came from, the earth, and to release that feeling it contains within it from the depths of a man's soul.

It is this cycle of containing and releasing that brings about the nature by which we live. Give and take. Life and death. The nature of things.

Tears. They take with them shards of man's emotions. Burrowing them deep in the ground. Making them one with nature.

But they always come back for another time.

SCATTERED.

Just looked at my high school pics. We looked so so so uber-happy. Those times that I took for granted. Those times I did not take for granted. Those golden days had long since passed.

Reality leaped forward and I've been walking way behind him, still staring at those things that are now just a memorabilia called the Past. I yearn that feeling of familiarity that it brought with it.

Everything has changed around me. I no longer feel comfort of what surrounds me. In my mind that fails to accept that time cannot be turned back and that I am now here, I am in a world that is not my own.

This is not my world.

BUT IT IS.

Two freaking months of this hell obviously haven't made it any easier to let it all sink in. I know that the time will come when my new world will be in order, and then, I can call it my own.

But for now, it is yet inconceivable how it will come to be.

Until that time comes, I will have no world of my own.

On my own. In a realm so alien to me. Scattered.

LIFE: A DONE DEAL.

In life.

We revolve around an invisible sphere of happiness and sadness. It is improbable to get one and not the other.

Without each other, they simply cannot exist. One exists because the other exists. It is the essence of the cloak of reality that binds us together.

We live to experience.
The elation from joy that can lift us upto the bright heavens.
The daggers of sorrow that can sometimes tear our hearts into pieces.

When these daggers strike, there is no more reason to ask "Why?" because life's a done deal.

Just as a quote, which my friends always enjoy mentioning, says:
"DON'T ASK WHY. ASK, 'HOW CAN I OVERCOME THIS?'"

There is nothing more that can be done but to cope. Accept. Adapt.

Life may be larger than us, but we can always give a good fight.

WHISPERS TO BE HEARD.

I was in this house alone with Darkness beside me
But the whispers won't go away
I have summoned the dark but the silence won't break free
The whispers were flying with the breeze
They are here, but I would not hear.

They still pierced, I felt them burrowing in my head
Then came Silence from his prison hushing the world around
The death of the air clasped an embrace around me
I felt safe as I knew that the whispers were bound.
They were here, but I did not hear.

Silence went to me and bade his farewell
I wept. "Don't go" I said, tugging on his side
Then he left and the voices returned
Overwhelming they were, I stood terrified
They were here, but I didn't want to hear.

Still, they didn't stop, with no choice, I listened,
They were soft voices so familiar to me
Darkness left, then light came
My eyes too blurred to see

o0o

Most of the time, it takes more time accepting the truth than finding out the truth.

A WARNING TO ALL.

It was five PM, my friend Pizza and I went to the SEC-A rest rooms to have our "after-PE" routine. I usually just took a few moments to change clothes, but for some reasons, my paced slowed. I was a bit anxious that a GIRL would be done EARLIER than ME. It's just the thing that girls take more time in the restroom... ahaha... I'm becoming irrelevant. So, when I got out, Pizza was already there, but she seemed to be looking for something.

I was wondering what she was looking for.

Then, she told me. HER BAG WAS MISSING.

She said that she just left her bag on a stand before going inside a cubicle to change her clothes. When she got out, her bag had already vanished.

It was obvious that she had been having a bad day before the incident, but I guess bad things can turn out worse than we can expect. So, we looked and looked everywhere for it, but it was nowhere to be found. I then went to our (guys') CR to see if it "materialized" there, but of course it wasn't there too. Sad... Pizza was suddenly gone when I went out.

After a few secs, she was back, and with her was her blue floral bag. However, she was already teary-eyed. She found her bag on the nearest staircase open. It was abvious that the Atenean thief had rummaged in it before leaving.

Her ID was still there. And her coin purse. And also an envelope which contained some of her money. And her other stuff. BUT HER CELLPHONE AND WALLET WERE GONE.

It makes me wonder what motivated the Atenean to steal.

Did she need the money? Is she a klepto? Did she do it just for a natural high?

I guess, we wouldn't really know. That is until we would have our own CSI in Ateneo :) which i think won't ever happen.

I just hope that dear ol' Conscience would wake her up in the night and never make her sleep!

REST.

My eyes too heavy from lack of sleep; my body powerless.

I force myself to stay awake for things still to be done.

No work is done, i guess. Time passes, my senses dull.

I am awake, yet my mind wanders to a neverland I myself don't know.

Reaching for reality, Dream holds me back.

My mind too weak to fight; the temptation lures me in.

Into this place of tranquility, of quiet, of nothingness, of a void that keeps my mind.

In peace. At ease.

For rest.

PILIPINAS: ANG PAGPUKAW SA ILAW.

Pagbalot ng Dilim

Pilipinas kong bayan, takda sa alamat
Ang iyong araw na dati'y sumisikat,
Saklaw noon ang lupa't dagat
Ng gintong liwanag na walang katapat.

Noo'y binalot ng ilang daang taon
Pero di rin naglaon Siya'y nakabangon;
Bumalik ang liwanag ng gaya noon;
Tumindi pa ang sikat sa Bagong Panahon.

Masdan and muling paghimlay ng butihing liwanag.
Hindi bumabalik kahit ano mang tawag.
Noo'y Siya ang binalot; Siya ang inapi.
Ngayo'y Siya ang nagtakip sa kanyang sarili!

Pilipinas kong bayan, takda sa alamat
Ang iyong araw na dati'y sumisikat.

BLUE MEETS GREEN. AND VICE VERSA.

It was not an ordinary day because of two or actually three major happenings: (1) JENSEN's 18th BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION (2) first encounter with three of JENSEN's GREEN(La Salle) BARKADA and (3) my REALIZATION.

I.
7:40. I got up from bed excited for Jenny's party. 9:00. My uncle, his wife and I was on the road. 9:15. We were in a Catholic church. 10:00 Back on the rugged road of Manila. 10:something. I'm dropped off in Jon's house. Gi, Ja, Ralph were already there. Before 11. Awi came. Cocoy also arrived and he hasn't changed a bit since we last met which I think was ages ago. 11:something. Jenny arrived with his Green flock namely Riva, Chris and Omar. Gi got in a dilemma and decided to go back to Bellevue. 12:something. We arrived at Jenny's house in Valenzuela which was really grand i tell you. :) We stayed in the mini-theater room (due to the BIG TV) and they played PS2. 1:something. Eating time. I was pigging out on Jenny's very abundant food supply. "Pigging out" as Rizza put it. Pictures taken. Candle-blowing by dear ol' Jenny while we were singing our hearts out with the classic "Happy birthday" song. More pictures taken. I don't know what time it was, we went back upstairs and we played scrabble while the others played PS2. Finished playing. I was damn confused with their mind games. I really suck. 4:00. We were still there. A bit before 5:00. All the guys played ball of course excluding me. About 6:00 PM i think. We were on the road. Dropped off Green Omar in 5th Ave. 6:45. Jon's house again. Bye bye to birthday boy Jenny, Cri, Chris and Riva. We chit-chatted for a long time. 8:00. Boyet came. One by one we dropped of Ralph then Coy then Rizza. 9:30. Home at last.

Conclusion:

Thanks a bunch, Jenny! (or Jenny-sia as Riva put it.) I had fun. It's already clear in my mind. Jensen's 18th Birthday = FUN ;) I'll really remember this day.

II.
So... Jenny introduced us to three of his LaSallite friends Riva, Chris and Omar.

My first impressions which I think are stereotypical. (Not that it really matters.)
1. Riva: fun Chinese girl
2. Chris: indifferent "cool" guy
3. Omar: shy silent type

My current impressions? (Right now.)
1. Riva: still fun, still Chinese, Gracean "laugher"
2. Chris: active, verbose, still "cool", still passive in person
3. Omar: still shy silent type

Conclusion:

The above-mentioned statements don't really matter. It's just that they are really comfy and happy hanging out with each other. Great job, Jenny! I think they're real finds.

III.
My realization:

Damn! Thay're having so much fun there on the green fields. I think they have more of authentic people. No offense to my schoolmates.

It just feels too artificial under the blue sky.

Of course, it isn't everyone. It's just sad.

I think I'm doing a bad job with my blue life.

I hope I prove myself wrong very soon.

We'll soon see if the green fields are really bad omens for me or are just tasters for my happy blue tomorrow.

PILIPINO. PARA SA ISANG CHINOY.

Para sa inyong kaalaman, ako'y isang Chinoy sa dugo at puso. Kaya nga ganun-ganun nalang ang pagpapahalaga ko sa wikang Pilipino. Masasabi nga talagang mukha akong Instik dahil sa mga singkit kong mga mata at sa madilaw kong balat. Ito'y sa dahilan na ang mayorya ng dumadaloy na dugo sa akin ay dugong Intsik. Gayon pa man, dahil dito sa Pilipinas nanirahan ang aking pamilya at dito na rin ako namulat sa mundo at tumanda, ang wikang Pilipino ang tinuturing kong pinakamahalagang salita sa balat ng lupa.

Sa ating lipunan ngayon, medyo nakapagtataka ang mababang pagtingin sa wikang ito. Marami ang nagsasanay mag-Ingles, mag-Hapon o mag-Mandarin dahil marahil ay mas nakakaangat ang mga ito sa kanilang isipan. Totoo nga na napakahalaga ng mga nsasabing mga wika para sa pag-unlad pero dapat rin ay maalala natin na ang wikang Pilipino ang nagsilbing tulay sa ating pakikipagkaibigan at sa ating pakikipagkapwa-tao. Gaya nga ng sabi "baliktarin mo man ang mundo" tayo'y Pilipino o Pilipino na dahil dito tayo lumaki kaya nga dapat ay pahalagahan rin natin ito.

Kanina lang naitanong sa akin ng isa kong kaibigan kung bakit raw biglang nagsulat ako gamit ang Filipino dito sa aking blog. Di tulad nang noon, puro wikang Ingles ang aking ginagamit.

Sa aking pananaw kasi, iba pa rin kapag ito ang ginagamit ng isang taga-Pilipinas. Sabihin man natin na nagbibigay ng ibang hiwaga ang Ingles kapag tayo'y nagsulat gamit nito, iba ang layunin ng wikang Pilipino.

Sa kahit sino mang tao, siya'y mas palagay sa wikang kinagisnan niya. Sabihin man nating mahusay siyang magsulat sa ibang salita, iba pa rin kapag nagsulat siya gamit ang sarili niyang wika.

Ang paggamit ng sariling wika ay nagbibigay ng pagkatotoo sa mga salita dahil ito'y direktang nagmumula sa isip ng tao.

Paano ba magisip ang isang Pilipino?

Siyempre sa wikang Pilipino.

Kaya nga sa aking palagay, ang pagsulat gamit ang sariling wika ay naglalapit pa lalo ng katotohanan dahil wala na itong pagsalin sa ibang salita. Ito'y mas nagiging puro pa at naghahatid ng emosyon at ng mensahe nang ayon talaga sa manunulat.

Sana'y mahalin natin ang wikang Pilipino. Bago tayo magmahal ng iba sana'y mahalin muna natin ang sariling atin.

WHAT'S THE DAMN POINT?

What's the point of living?

Why not just get it over with and go to an unbeknownst place?

Wouldn't it just be more exciting than studying algebra and trigonometry which you won't surely be using after college?

Why not just study to read and write?

What's the point of education since it actually doesn't lead to anywhere?'

Would we make essays or solve math in Hell or Heaven?

Of course not. So why the hell do we study?

Is it because of the rules stated by society?

But why do we need to conform to society since it is just an illusion made by man?

Are we controlled by society because we want to be called a "man"?

What's the point of being a man anyways?

Why is being a man important to man?

Why is the way we prioritize influenced by everything around us?

So why are the thing around us important to us?

Is it again a typical influence of society?

Is there even a point to ask these?

Of course, we wouldn't know.

So.. what's the damn point?

Most of the time, in this thing we call life, the point is not knowing the point.

GULO SA ISIPAN.

Paiba-iba ang damdamin ko sa kolehyo. Minsan masaya. Minsan malungkot. Para bang wala pa kong kasiguruhan sa aking kapaligiran. Sabagay, di pa talaga natin alam kung ang mga kasakasama natin ngayon ay magiging kaibigan nating tunay o hindi. Para bang ang lahat-lahat ay napapaloob pa sa isang madilim na ulap kaya di natin malaman kung ano ang dapat maramdaman. Nung bakasyon, naisip ko na mangyayari ito, kaso nga lang, iba na talaga kung naroroon ka na sa mismong sitwasyon.

Nakakapanghina minsan ang ganitong kalagayan. Kahit ba nakatutok ka sa pag-aaral, hindi sapat ang mga magagandang grado para mapasaya ang sarili. Mas importante talaga ang maramdaman na parte ka ng mundong ginagalawan mo. Hindi sapat ang pamamalagi mo kung wala kang naibabahagi.

Kung minsan nga, tinatanong ko ang aking sarili kung ano nga ba ang parte ko sa kapaligiran ko. Hindi ko masagot.

Noon pang high school hanggang ngayong kolehyo na ako, may mga oras na talagang napapatigil ako, napapaisip at nalulungkot. Hindi ko talaga alam kung saan nanggagaling ang lungkot na ito pero ang alam ko ay para parin akong paru-parong nagiisa sa bukid na walang kalalagyan. Kung minsan, ramdam ko nang parte ako ng isang kabuuan pero kapag tumahimik ang paligid, maaalala kong nagiisa parin ako.

Tunay nga na ang pag-iisa at ang buhay ay iisa. Ang buhay ay sarili lang nating tinatahak. Saan man tayo lumingon, nag-iisa lang talaga tayo. Mahirap tanggapin. Kaya nga katotohanan eh.

HIGH SCHOOL. KOLEHYO.

Nung high school, 10 pahina? ulam na; sa kolehyo, hindi man lang patikim yan.

In high school, long exams are like black ants who just pass by; in college, they're red ants who REALLY hurt.

Nung high school, pakool-kool lang; sa kolehyo, parating kool na kool na nakatungo sa library.

In high school, 70% is like spilled Coke; in college, it's like free Coke.

Nung high school, speak English raw dapat Tagalog parin; sa kolehyo, pwedeng nang magTagalog pinipilit namang magIngles. *sigh*

Conclusion:

If high school's Mindanao, college is Iraq. Talagang nakakahilo, diba?

DUH?! THAT'S LIFE.

So it has been a week sice my last post? (I think) Everything seems to be becoming a bit more fast-paced in my opinion. Although our load isn't that full, I always feel that something needs to be done. Hmmm... The highlights of those seven days? What can beat an F (46%) in my Math 18 Long Exam #2? AND to think that I STUDIED A HELL LOT MORE compared to the first one... Very sad indeed... Maybe I need to change my study habits... Maybe long hours of studying doesn't mesh with cramming-type me. I really really need to get it straight, so I can do better. I guess, the only thing that still keeps me going is that I'm still in ME. Thanks God! It's still sad though that I have an average of 59% from the two long exams. Anyways, the lowest long exam will be cancelled so I really have to do better, so that crappy 46% will be off my record. So right now, there are still five more long exams to go, and long exam #3 is on August 4 then our midterms on August 8. Gosh... I need to start NOW. huhuhuhu...

Well just as the saying goes "that's life."

Last Thursday I cut my PE bwahahaha... I really enjoyed my time off from that damn dancing class. nyahahaha... So... that's one out of three cuts... Hmm... Two more cuts bwahahahha...

Au revoir! Dinner time :)

THREE FREE DAYS.

We had a three-day weekend. Here's a summary:

o0o

Free Day #1: July 8, 2005
Rating: 3/10 (Crap)

An hour before noon, I arrived at Grace. Terence was waiting for me, because he was to consult with Mrs. Cy-Tan, who BTW is the Math Princess of Grace, and I wanted to hitch along. When I saw him, he was with Ja and Ange talking to our Junior English instructor Ms. Dacanay. We had a long chit-chat before going to the grade school building for something Terence had to do. Unfortunately, our tiring walk up the stairs ended up wasted, because he didn't know someone's surname... Gosh... I'm confused myself. Let's just move on. We went to the office -by that time, Ralph came- and Terence asked a math question to Mrs. Cy-Tan. She said she'd just text him the answer. And that was it. I didn't really come to Grace only for that. I was actually expecting more because of the effort I had to give just to get up early from bed. *sigh*

Terence and Ange left, and the rest of us went upstairs to do some frolicking. After that, we walked to Terence's "mansion" ahahaha in Bellevue to borrow his basketball for Ja and Ralph to use. That time, Ja and I were really thirsty, so we asked our host for water. Then we ended up chit-chatting again about past and present stuff. I said that I had to go to Ateneo to meet my ES groupmates, but Ja kept on insisting for me not to go.

I REALLY wanted to stay, but still, by 1:30, I was on my way to Ateneo. Tricycle to 5th ave. LRT to Doroteo Jose. LRT 2 to Katipunan. By that time, my groupmates were already texting me, asking me where I was. Unfortunately, they were already done with our project and I was damn guilty and frustrated sitting in a trike in a traffic jam in Katipunan. They were actually just waiting for the diskette of pictures I had with me. I felt really stupid. I should have come earlier. I arrived there about a quarter to four. I just gave them the diskette and we left. Really depressed then, so I called Lauren and incidentally, she was in Katipunan with her granny and mom. I met her there at the Sweet Inspiration, and we chatted while we were eating. Thanks again to Mrs. Sonia Tantuco for the food. :) I just discovered that her granny who BTW is very very friendly was a teacher in Chang Kai where my motherside line studied. Lauren had to go to a friend's party, so we departed. I rode a trike. Then LRT 2. LRT to 5th Ave and waited for my uncle to fetch me. He arrived by six and we arrived home by six-thirty. After that was a blur. I can't remember. It's useless stuff.

Free Day #2: July 7, 2005
Rating: 7/10 (Good)

It was supposed to be a class thing, but it ended up with only seven of us watching Fantastic Four (Ja, Jon, Lauren, Paul, Awi, Dan and me) in Promenade. Before watching we ate in ASAP California Kitchen if I'm not mistaken, and I hated evrything in that damned place. It was pretty expensive, but I really did not enjoy the food. It's a certified TAGA place.

Then the movie. Fantastic Four, with an utterly unknown cast for me except for the beautiful Jessica Alba and McMahon who played Cole in Charmed, was an okay movie adaptation of the comic but it wasn't "fantastic." There were obvious differences from the comics such as Victor von Doom's power and transformation, Doom with them in space, Sue and Reed's relationship, etc, but it didn't harm their being Fantastic Four. As I said, it was okay, but something was terribly missing. I'm not really sure, but maybe it's the lack of excitement. Not that it didn't have plot complications or battle sequences, but it just failed to capture my whole attention. If compared to Spiderman 2 and X-Men 2, there'd be no comparison, but as a movie, it's above average. But also for your info, my friends really really liked it. Maybe, I was just hard to please that day. I'll just watch it some other time. Go watch it. It's still worth your money and your precious time.

Actually, the best thing that day was that I was with my high school buds, and just being with them was really fun. No extra efforts. No complications. Just simple comfy fun.

Free Day #3: July 10, 2005
Rating: 6/10 (Not bad)

This is today. I woke up early to answer some math exercises to get a bit ready for Thursday's Math Long Exam #2... tick tock... Lunch... tick tock... Then Diana and I had telebabad while I scribbled some math stuff. Four came, it was the UAAP green vs blue game. We finished our telebabad, and I surfed the net to read A Rose for Emily since I lost my Lit 13 book. It was a bit long, but it was good. I got the vocabs and searched for them one by one in the dictionary. I chatted with my friends in YM then I wrote this. BTW the Archer got the Eagle... Sad... But that's reality... i hope they do better next time. I'd really hate another landslide loss.

o0o

Sorry for my weird writing. I suddenly felt uninspired. The things I still got to do is really bugging me. So au revoir!

THE INEVITABLE COMEBACK.

It just happened.

The feeling so "five years ago" has finally returned. I almost feel like a sixth-grader. Five years can REALLY make a man numb, but now, I know how it feels again. Exhilirating. Mind-boggling. Timestopping. These words can't really explain how it REALLY feels. What I'm sure of is that it hits you when you least expect it... Shit... Not again... The last one had lots and lots of repercussions. I got to learn from my past. I really should. AND this is NOT a good time...

STRESSED OUT. PLUS ISSUE # 1.

A wednesday.

What do I usually think of before I wake up?
"Hay... Buti pa UP walang pasok... *sigh*..."

And it wasn't the usual wednesday... I feel damn tired.

Well... My Atenean life seems to be getting redundant... Maybe that's why I feel so tired nowadays...

Hmm... what should I talk about...

Aha! I'll be your Invictus Correspondent in Ateneo...

o0o

Under the Blue Sky #1
July 6, 2005


1. The Power-Hungry King and Queen

There are rumors flying around that Regine Tan, Grace valedictorian, and Terence Ong, former VP of Invictus, have been seen together all the time in the campus of Ateneo.
We asked a reliable source, who wants to be called Anonymous, and he said, "Totoo. Parati ko silang nakikita. Grabe!"

According also to another source Angelica Chan, it was because they have the same PE class which is Tai Chi. We investigated, and we found out that it is indeed true. However, is it purely coincidental for them to have the same PE class? Ask yourself :)

2. Beyonce of Invictus Now Topbills Psychology Class with a Teenage Star

Yes. It is true. Our very own Beyonce, also known as Hair Goddess, is now a part of the "Populars" in her Psych class. Of course you know who Beyonce is. Who wouldn't? This teenage star, on the other hand, is the daughter of a very famous rapper. Need I say more?

3. Invictus Guys Lovestruck with Kapuso Star

Julie Lee, commercial model and former star of now defunct show Joyride, has been making waves in the Invictus guys' radar. It will still be seen if there would be developments...

4. Vanessa, Phenomenal in Ateneo

If the Kapuso star is a hit, so is our very own Vanessa Sy, and she's not even on TV!!! There were several reports that she was having a set of Atenean suitors. So now the question: What happened to the tall dark Gracean?

5. From Canada to Ateneo

Ralph David King, one of the Eatcorn founders and member of Invictus, arrived here in the Philippines last, last week from Canada for his vacation. He reportedly "sat-in" Crissann Yu's English class and Jarwin Tee's class. He would be staying here until August.

BLIND ITEM:

It's over for this former "to-be-hot-couple." They have been in our Invictus Radars especially during the stupid Basic Life Seminar, but it has finally ended before it even started.

o0o

GRACE's MUSICALS. THEN & NOW.

It had already been five years ago when my friends, Jon, Ralph, Lauren, and I went to the theater of the Cultural Center of the Philippines to watch our close friends namely Java and Deluck. I almost cannnot believe it myself. It was the 50th anniversary of Grace then. At that time, I was very excited to watch the play although I did not have my hopes up. It was just the idea that most of the presentations prepared by Grace always end up in a mess. However, it proved me wrong. It was beautiful. the atmosphere of the production design. the colorful lights. the choreography. the unified voice of the choir. Everything was so right; it even felt as if a magical feeling swept through me as tensions climbed and fell accompanied by the choir's captivating music. Until this very day, I can recall the richness of their performance. For a twelve year old boy then, it was more magical even compared to the Disney classics. It was breathtaking.

Now, five years later, times have changed for me. Friendships. Family. And the expectations I had for the show as I entered the same dark theater of the CCP. Of course, I had high expectations for it thanks to its spectacular predecessor. I was literally craving for the same feeling of awe I had five years ago.

The lights closed and the curtains raised, the show began. Its first offering was "Nic at Night" with acting by the elementary students and music by the high school Glee Club. As it began, continued, and ended, I felt nothing. Nothing. It was a hollow presentation. The music and the acting was standard, but the performers were not in fault. The stench of its failure came from the production. The lifeless set. The anticlimactic choreography. The lack of color. Its producers showed an obvious lack of ambition. Everything was composed of naive materials that did not strive to tap the potentials of its young performers.

The second and last offering "Bow Down" started after a fifteen minute break. At that time, I still had a speck of hope that they could salvage my night. I was partly right and wrong. The high school performers were obviously given more challenging roles, and they did quite well. Their acting and singing performances were engaging and exaggerated that's just right for a theater audience. The music was beautiful, but at times, the elementary choir lacked the power to accompany the strong moments of the play, especially the ending. The choreography, as compared to the first one, gave a modern touch to the classic Bible story and was able to lift the mood of the audience. The performances were superb, but as I thought about it, it was still a shadow of last five year's show. The second show had a strong potential to be in league with its predecessor, but some of the same problems remained. The set. The lack of color. The big difference it had with the first offering is it showed ambition by giving the high school performers good roles and choreography. If they just put more effort in the production design, it really could have been a lot better.

After the show, as one by one the performers bowed, the audience erupted with thunderous claps and echoing whoo's. As the conductress, Ms. Lim went up the stage last, and the crowd released its most powerful applause. It was at this moment when I felt guilty. Instead of appreciating what they've done, I've been thinking about what they did not offer. Then, I felt a different feeling. I felt the passion the people behind and in the show offered the audience. I just kept on clapping and clapping because I knew that the performers and SOME of the production staff did their best to offer us the best that they could do. The hell with the others!!!

PS to the choreographer: Don't underestimate children. I hate the grade school choreo.

JUDGMENT # 1. (of 7)

My heart was pounding really fast when our Ma 18 teacher came in. With him were our checked long exams, and my mind was going ballistic. I couldn't stop thinking "Bagsak kaya ako... bagsak kaya ako..." The long wait was finally over. He was calling us one by one, and one by one I could see the faces of my blockmates, some contented and some sad and some indifferent, as they looked at their scores. Then, I heard my name called. I quickly stood and got the papers from him. I looked at it, and damn! Never had I been so happy with 72. I guess, college brings out the "survival mode" in me. bwahahaha

o0o

To my Atenean family T2,

The fight is not yet over. Our destinies still lie in our choices.

ONE DOWN.

Yep. Math 18 long exam #1 is officially history. If it's something worth remembering or not is yet to be revealed, although it may take a seriously looong while, according to some reliable sources. Bwahaha... BTW, the next BIG ONE is on July 14. We should really get ready for this "a-lot-harder" (according again to the sources) Long Exam #2.

GO T2!!! :)

Hmm... Aside from that dreaded but fun Math, my day is kinda okay. I'm beginning to not hate Modern Jazz. Although I can't really follow all the steps all the time, I can see myself improving even a very TINY bit. hehe...

Oh, I'd like to promote a stall there in the ADMU Caf. I've been seriously wanting to have that kind of food since I was in Grace, so it's kind of a blessing. hehe... You can buy sandwiches there, and you can choose what you want to have in it. It's a bit expensive, but, I guess, good food deserves a good price. I think it's name is "Food After Thought" or something. I'm not really sure. Just check it out on the second floor. What the hell!!! hmm... they should pay me for this... Maybe 50% off? bwahahaha...

o0o

Something just hit me. Not literally, of course. It's just that being in college could really be fun. It may not be the same kind of fun during the high school days, but it makes me happy in a different way. In high school, it was the fun of being comfortable with everyone and your environment, but in college, in my opinion, it's the fun of discovering. New perspectives. New cultures. And, most importantly, new people. It's basically the fun of getting out of our comfort zones, and doing and learning new things outside our "box."

A PIECE.

In just a few minutes, I'm off to ADMU, so i'll just share something I've written during the summer vacation. It's just short. Obviously, I'm too lazy to continue it. :)

Untitled

The silence of the night air around the manor was broken. A woman's wail and a strong sound echoed in a room as a powerful force pounded on the floor.

"How could you..." A woman's faltering voice, almost inaudible.

"Oh Shantis, I couldn't stop myself..." A masculine voice loomed in the dead silence. "I was just... I was just... afraid that that you'd leave me. You can't leave me, Leyna. You know you're mine... You're mine."

Outside the door, Lia, a child in silhouette heard everything. Her mother wanted to leave them. Although it was hard to comprehend in her limited mind, she knew that much. That night, she couldn't sleep. She spent the whole night staring at the ceiling as if waiting for the god Shantis to answer her heart's question. By the time the morning god cut his way through the once dark horizon, she knew what she had to do. She will make her mother happy, so she will have no reason to leaVe them. No fights came for several months since then, and Leyna and her father Clay got along well with each other. They were obviously in love like the princes and princesses in the fairy tales Leyna had told her about. They were a family in harmony now, or so she thought.

One day, they went out to eat at a restaurant. Lia was having the best time of her life, as they shared stories with ech other. She had never felt this happy and contented in her life. The sadness of yestermonths faded from her memory replaced by the happiness they now shared. When they arrived home, Leyna brought her to her room, and laid her on her bed. Lia looked at her mother. She had never seen another face more beautiful than hers. Her brunette hair flowed smoothly down her pale complexion with her green eyes radiant reflecting the moonlight.

"You know that I love you, my little Aliandra." Leyna kissed her daughter's forehead.

"I love you too, mother." Lia sat up and laid her head on her mother's bosom as Leyna caressed her ruffled hair. There she felt the warmth of a loving mother. If it were possible, she wanted to stay like this forever. With this feeling, she no longer yearned anything more from the world.

Leyna glanced outside, with the moon beaming on her face. "Lia, look at the goddess that lights the sky. She always provides us her guidance in the night. On the other hand, there are also times when she's not there, we don't know why, but we still have to move on in the darkness. We still have to move on."

She looked at her daughter, and her little angel had already fallen asleep. Carefully, she laid Lia's back on the bed and pulled the comforter to warm her daughter. She stayed there just staring at her child's soft face before she kissed her again and left the room.

'The time has come.' She whispered to herself as she wiped off the tears building on her eyes.

o0o

A loud scream tore the peace waking Lia from her slumber. It was Clay. She was sure of it. Without hesitation, she hurriedly paced to the master's bedroom. Outside the room, servants were whispering to each other before straightening up when they saw her. Something was very wrong. She immediately entered the room, and her father was the only one there, standing and looking straight ouside the window as the white satin curtains billowed beside him, and then, she knew. She didn't need to ask. Leyna had just left them.

o0o

That was eight years ago. Since that fateful day, life was never the same for her. Three days after her mother left, Clay followed.

"Lia, I've asked Auntie CLarisse to take care of you while I'm gone." Clay looked her in the eyes, his gray eyes teary. "I'll be back."

"Promise?" Lia's emerald eyes stared at her father's face, looking for an answer.

"Promise." He said decisively then put his child in his embrace. "And mommy will be with me, so you you be a good little girl to Auntie clare, okay?" He whispered.

"Okay." Lia smiled with the thought of having her family back before breaking off the hug.

"it's time to go." Clay straightened up and looked at his sister. "Take care of her. Won't you, Clare?"

"Of course I will." Clare grabbed the hand of her neice. "May Shantis bless you on your journey."

"Thanks." He turned his back walking out of the door.

'And he never came back." Although it had long since passed, every detail was still clear in her memory. She was now sixteen. There's no more room for tears in a strong woman's life, but still a single tear strolled down her pallid face.

Then came a knock on her door.

"Who is it?" She wiped her eyes.

"Glaise, milady" Said the voice from outside.

"Come in."

Glaise, her personal maid two years older than her, entered. carrying a white rectangular box. "Mistress Clare wanted you to have this. She told me to tell you that you will be wearing this for tomorrow evening's ball in Jade Manor."

'Another ball? Oh Shantis, she never gets tired of finding me a man. I think I can find him by myself.' She thought before she sat on her bed. "Just leave it here, Glaise."

The maid laid the box beside her master before bowing and leaving the room.

Lia lifted the cover and held an olive green chiffon gown to sway in the air. It was a truly magnificent sight. She held it close to her body and looked at her reflection on the mirror.

A TRIBUTE.

It was but six years ago when the Invictus slowly took form. In those days, mists blurred our vision, enveloping the beauty that would soon be divulged. As time swept by, change was inevitable, but still, it grew until the time came when the mists departed revealing the stone that it has crafted. On the stone were many names, and one of them was "Kevin Aaron Fenix."

Who is this legendary Kevin Aaron Fenix? Who is better to ask than those of whom who were with him for six years which includes me? So I shall ask myself. bwahahaha...

Pwede mo bang ibahagi sa akin ang nalalaman mo tungkol dito sa napakamisteryosong si Kevin Fenix?
---Ah yan si Kevin. Napakabait na bata n'yan. Ang pagkakaalala ko nung mga Grade Five pa kami di ko pa nga narararamdaman ang presence n'yan eh. Para bang wallpaper. Ang tahimik kasi. Ang unang nagpapaalala lang sa akin kay Kevin ay yung mga pictures niya nung Grade Six Field Trip namin. Nakunan kasi siyang kumakain ng chicken ng step by step. Sa unang picture tinitigan nya ang hita ng manok sa susuonod nakakagat na ito sa sa susunod itatapon na nya ang buto. Napakaganda ng mga pictures na ito. Hanggang sa aking paglaon, hinding hindi ko ito makakalimutan. O kay ganda! Lumipas ang mahabang panahon, biglang nagbago itong si Kevin. Nalaman namin na napakagaspang pala ng ugali nito at napakahipokrito nya. Ay shit! Di pala siya yun... Bwahahahaha. So yun nga nagiba itong si Kevin. Mapang-api na rin. Kahit nga ako naramdaman ko ang pagmamalupit niya. Huhuhuhu... Parati ba naman akong pinagbibintangan na nagwala ng gamit nya sa Drafting? Dagdag pa riyan, napakahilig nitong tumawa. Kung noon nakatikom ang bibig nya parati, ngayon dakdak na nang dakdak. Pero kahit naging sociable na itong si Kevin parati parin akong inaaway. Di bale. Alam ko naman na sa kanyang ikabuturan napakamapagmahal talaga siya. Pero ngayong nakalayas na kami sa Grace, biglang iiwan naman niya kami para sa Australia. Napakasama mo! Pero alam naming ito ang nakabubuti sa iyo, Kevin, kaya humayo ka. LUMAYAS KA NA!!! joke lang... Ang maipapayo ko lang ay mag YM ka parin at magpadala ka ng pasalubong sa akin. Byers, my soon to-be Austaralian friend Kevin. Have fun :)

Para makilala nyo pa siya nang mas mabuti, ibabahagi ko ang aming paguusap sa Y!M.
kfenix888: oi
byron_ong: hi kebin!!!
kfenix888: kala ko b cra ym mo?
byron_ong: eng eng
byron_ong: pag di ako onlyn onlyn parin
byron_ong: un ang sira
kfenix888: aaaa
kfenix888: i see
kfenix888: kya pla kahapon online k nnmn
kfenix888: or r u online?
byron_ong: nope
byron_ong: ngaun lang me onlyn
byron_ong: kagabi hmmm
byron_ong: baka sandali lang
kfenix888: aa
kfenix888: i see
byron_ong: ahahaha
byron_ong: send mo na
byron_ong: yahoo
kfenix888: cge
kfenix888: bayad muna
byron_ong: pwetz mo0 noh
byron_ong: bwahahah
kfenix888: haha
kfenix888: pera muna
byron_ong: nope
byron_ong: ayoko nang maglagay sa mga korup
byron_ong: huhuhuhu
kfenix888: weeeeeeeeee
kfenix888: oi
byron_ong: huhuhuhu
kfenix888: anu k b!!!!
kfenix888: sinend ko na nga ayw p iaccept
kfenix888: ingrato!
byron_ong: aahahhaa
byron_ong: wow ah
byron_ong: ayaw eh
byron_ong: la naman ah
kfenix888: nxt time may bayad n
kfenix888: bka mayfirewall k
byron_ong: ahahaha
byron_ong: malas!!
byron_ong: grr
byron_ong: try mo ulit
kfenix888: bayaran mo n ko
kfenix888: free trial lng ung knina
kfenix888: dapat ngayun maybayad n
byron_ong: ahahaha
byron_ong: ang bait bait mo talag
kfenix888: tank you
kfenix888: thank you

Sana ay mas nakilala nyo na ang napakabuting taong si Kevin Aaron Fenix. Salamat sa ating source na si Byron Lendl Ong :)

If you have any inquiries about Kevin Fenix pls. contact Mr. Ong at 09228282866.

AND P.S. to my good friend Jayveline Lee who is taking up Advertising in De La Salle and who shot those beautiful "eating-chicken" shots of Kevin: I urge you to try photography :) Ganda talaga eh! ahaha... Pwede mong gamitin sa Chicken Joy ung mga pics na yun! O diba advertising! :)

A DAY OF MANY FACES.

Just got home. Very, very tired.

A long walk then a tricycle ride then an LRT 2 ride then a short walk then an LRT ride then a short walk and finally a long tricycle ride...

Ran out of breath??? That's how tiring going home is, now. Oh, how precious were those times when I always had someone to fetch me from school.

*sigh*

I hate the damn weather. Puddles of dirty water on the streets. Yucky water dripping from literally everywhere. What the hell is wrong with this place!

*sigh*

On the brighter side, I got 88 in the ME Mock Long Test. I don't want to have false hope. I really, really think the real one's three times harder. No time should be wasted. The hell with rest, I NEED to study! (Am I really saying this? What the hell's happening to me?)

Well... Can't think clearly right now... I'll just share some jokes from my T2 blockmates during our three-hour escapade in McDo. (BTW, we were asked do this taste test on their new and improved(?) Sausage McMuffin, and we were given three each. That was fun, but I'll never eat one of those again. Bwahahaha..)

Here are some of my faves: (Sorry if there will be some discrepancies:)

1. Ano raw ang sinabi ng batang centipede sa tatay nya kaya nahimatay ito?
Sagot: "Itay, pabili ng sapatos."

2. Sino ang kapatid ni Kitchie Nadal?
Sagot: "Barbie Na Doll"

3. Ano ang sinabi ng tinga sa kulangot?
Sagot: "Anong ginagawa mo dito?" (This is gross:)

Special thanks to my sources, Jan San Juan, Cara Adajar, Wilson Co, and Marwin Malaki, for making me laugh a Gracean laugh for the first time ever in my Atenean life. Hehe...

Time to check my ACADS cd :) Nighty!

STRESSFUL.

What have I gotten myself into?!! :(

FYI I chose Modern Jazz for my PE and it sucks or in a more truthful sense, I SUCK!!! bwahahaha... Yep I do. (And take note: during my class earlier, I was the only one not in PE attire.) Sad... I can't even reach my toes and stretch out my legs and follow the steps and this list can go on and on... WHY THE HELL DID I CHOOSE MODERN JAZZ!!!

*sigh*

Enough ranting for today. Let's dwell on the (more) positive side of life. hmm... College life seems to be getting better. Of course with the company of some of my blockmates :) It almost makes me forget the dreaded Math 18 long exam next week... Dreaded? Why? Let me fill you in with the facts. The first two Math 18 Long Exams would determine if we the ME peeps would still be called ME peeps... Got my point? bwahahahaha... bwahahaha... sad...

*sigh*

Negative vibes seem to be gushing out of me... This calls for my "Meditation Time." I shall go.

This is the end. For now, of course :) Bwahahahaha...